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| Grand Opening... and I'm losing my mind. |
[20 Apr 2012|07:16pm] |
I have watched Transformers (the first one) at least four times in this last week, I don't know what it is about that movie, but it gets me all riled up. I'm starting to feel like everything is done and it's out of my hands, like I'm just watching a movie of my own life and sitting on the edge of the couch hoping it all works out. I know that I have control, I know that I have a say in what happens but I can't make people love what I love. I can't force people to eat food they might not like, or enjoy the atmosphere Miles and I have created. I just can't. That scares the shit out of me.
Yesterday we had the trial run at the restaurant, friends and family were invited and I was more than impressed with the turn out, in fact it was the perfect trial run because we weren't expecting so many people to show up. We ended up having to nearly double the food that had been prepared, and we pulled it off. We realized a few things last night, 1) everyone loves a red piano, 2) everyone loves alcohol and 3) everyone loves a red piano. Our performers last night were phenomenal, they took every request and had everyone singing along with them. I couldn't have imagined it any better. Now we just have to duplicate that experience twice a week every week. We had more than a few people ask us why we weren't having the dueling pianos every night, and while it seems like a good idea I want it to be something people can't see anytime they want too. I want reservations, I want Friday and Saturday nights to be packed because people want to see the dueling pianos. We serve amazing food (in my opinion) and that will allow us to feed people every night of the week, without requiring a reservation, but I want my weekends to be crazy. Crazy means it's working, right?
There's been a lot of talk lately about what kind of person I am, which is fine. I don't really care about what people say about me, especially people that have no idea who I am or what I'm about. Taking the opinions of others rather than forming one for themselves... they're exactly the sort of people I don't want to associate with anyway. What does bother me, however, is when it affects the relationships that I have. I lost Bliss once because of stupidity, I'm not going to lose her again. Think what you want, but before you go running your mouths, maybe you should find out WHY I spent the money I did in the auction, who I spoke to about it before I even spent the money or started bidding, and who the ladies in question are going on the dates with.
That said, hi, my name is Geoff and if you'd like to meet me and then form your opinion of me; come on down to the Dueling Red Piano bar this weekend.
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[13 Feb 2012|11:12am] |
Welcome to the life of Geoff Farnell, or at least a short variation of what it's like.
From a very early age I realized that if I wanted to have a relationship with my father I would have to take interest in what he did for a living. His life was and is work and therefor, my life needed to be the same. My father has done very well for himself and has brought both him and my mother into circles they are more than proud to be apart of. My mother changed, she used to be a doting loving mother who thought only of her children, and sometimes I feel guilty that I can remember her that way but Moni and Bastian can't. I was 7 when she made a change back into the working world, the twins were 2. They never got to see how much love she had for them, all they know is that they barely see her or our father and moved in with me.
I feel blessed to be in the position I am, I know that some people think I'm just this "trust fund" baby, and that's not true. I work hard. Yes, my parents set up a trust fund for me, but I did something with it, I made a name for myself and have made my own money. I'm proud of that. I feel like our generation tends to work and complain rather than work and take charge. There are grants and funding for everyone, but if you don't research it you can't apply and therefor cannot win. Did you know that there are thousands upon thousands of grants that never get applied for, and money just sits in accounts waiting until someone researches it. There are funds from foundations available to just about everyone. You can change your life, but you have to take a step outside of what you're currently doing and make it happen.
I have always wanted to help others. I know that my life isn't the same as everyone else's, which is why I have always done as much as I could to help where I can. I know how people look at me, I know what they say; mostly because I am friends with people who are friends with others who don't think too kindly of me. That's fine, if someone can't take the time to get to know me and what I'm about, that's thier issue. Some of you however know about my philanthropic endeavors. I have personally sponsored 4 well's, 3 children (though I really should have more), helped to build an orphanage in Rwanda and 4 homes in Puerto Rico. I donate time and money to a few local charities and have finally decided to start doing the investments I want. My father has always been of the opinion that investing money into someone else was always, always -- a bad investment. Invest in a current company, but never a person with an idea. I wholeheartedly disagree. Investing in the idea's of others is what creates a better lifestyle for the entire community. I am all for that. The work that I want.
I love my father, but we have a relationship that my siblings will never have with him. Why? They are stronger than I am, they have more of a backbone than I did at that age. I gave up my dreams of music and sports for what I thought I wanted ; to be like him. I can't get behind a man that is more interested in investing money in his children than investing time and effort, I just can't support him anymore. I wish he knew them like I do, I wish he knew what he was missing out on. They are incredibly talented, and are by far my favorite people. They are my best friends.
They are the reason I have decided to divorce my father.
It's not as weird and dramatic as it seems, it's a business divorce. Which unfortunately he's made a big deal. He doesn't support what I want to do with my life, and I'm finally okay with that.
So what is it that I want to do? I want to help people, own my own business, travel and play poker. I know that music isn't going to happen for me anymore, but that doesn't mean I can't help make it happen for others.
I have just secured a location that was currently for sale, and have bought it. More details to come (as I'll be looking for staff, etc). Secondly, my first personal investment into a person and their idea. Marty Cooper. I would also like to open a talent agency or music label in the near future, provided everything goes well with business I just bought.
Here's hoping I don't fail miserably.
Oh, and I bought Moni her first puppy, but I haven't seen it since we bought it. I don't even know if she's been named yet. I want to call her Zing-Zing Jedi.
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[24 Dec 2011|02:28am] |
Well hello,
I have never written in a journal or had a desire to do so. In our family emotions were for people who had feelings and if you had feelings you were weak. End of story. The simple fact that I've decided to have an open forum journal, it just bizarre. Moni talked me into it, and I regret it already. She's always trying to keep me as "up to date with the times" as she can, it's like she thinks I'm 75 and have some sort of technological disorder. I, am tech savvy. I am.
Now, I say 'were' and 'had' because currently, I think the Farnell spawn have decided that they'll be more compassionate than their parents and don't give a shit anymore. I know I sure don't. It's hard enough putting effort into a relationship, praying that it'll last and be a loving relationship in the end... now imagine that relationship was between children and their parents, and you'll see our dilemma. You can only fight so hard or so much. I love my parents and they have given me a life that I otherwise wouldn't have had, my father is a hero of mine but not for the reasons he should be. If I decide to get married one day, I hope to be a husband that he isn't, if I ever have children I hope to be the father he isn't. That being said, I pray every day to be the businessman he is. To have the knowledge of investments, stock market expectations and the ability to predict when the real-estate market should go up or down, are all skills I aspire to have one day that he currently possesses. I admire him for that, and possibly only that.
It's hard to be a 22 year old man with siblings that will be graduating soon, knowing that you'll be called on that all important day and the person on the other end will yet again say something to the effect of "make sure you video tape it, tell them we're proud and give them (insert dollar amount here) as our congratulatory gift." I, as always, will record an event and that tape will never get played again. Why? My parents are self absorbed, business tycoons that had no right starting a family. I guess I can't blame them for that though, they have made it perfectly clear that it was never their intention to start a family and that it just sort of fell in their lap. Kind of like a business proposal. They weighed their options and a family, once thrust upon them, sounded like a good investment at the time.
I don't think we've had our parents around for a holiday in over 12 years. Once the twins were in school full time it was like our parents thought their jobs were done. So this year I invited a few of our staff over for dinner, it was an open door request and I'm happy they know me well enough to know that it wasn't an order or demand, merely an offer. They are almost all going home to see their families, however. Pasquale accepted my offer though, and when I asked him why, he said he couldn't get back home on what he made... mind = blown. What the hell is my father paying him, if he can't even fly home once a year to see his family? This man, has worked for us for 4 years now, wants desperately to see his own children... and cannot. My parents couldn't give a shit about seeing us for Christmas. I gave him 2 weeks off, paid, and paid for his flight.
As intelligent as my parents are, they sure are daft.
Geoff Farnell, signing off.
PRIVATE
Seriously? Let's say there is a higher power, and right now... this is me talking to you. Why? Why the hell does everything in my life have to self complicate and be completely out of my control? I didn't ask for my parents, and yet here I am in a family that doesn't want me, nor my siblings and they are amazing, they are fucking amazing kids. They're talented and funny, their wit is astounding, they're compassionate and know how to have a good time. How the three of us stem from our parents, I will never know or understand. Then, you allow me to love at an early age, that turned into a living nightmare, then you took it away and left me feeling like I will never be good enough. You then allow me to believe that it's okay to be alone forever, to live life as a bachelor and I was content with that. Yes... past tense. WAS okay with that. You then screwed it all up by forcing your hand once again, and taking control away from me.
I can't have her, you know that. So just, do me a solid one fucking time, and make me not want her. Let me be her friend, and be okay with it being just that. Let me forget her altogether if that'll be easier. Just, make this hurt and sadness and fucking disdain for other men, go away. I am not this guy, and I don't want to be this guy.
Do that for me, if for no other reason than I think I've done a pretty fucking good job thus far, despite the hand I've been delt.
Oh yeah, and if you can let me get to the final table at the WSOP next week, that would be pretty kick ass, too.
GF
[/PRIVATE]
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Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,